Having a chronic illness is no fun, in fact it sucks. To be honest there are a lot of negatives to living with a body that just does not co-operate and with pain that never goes away. Oddly enough however, there are positives. No, really!! I wouldn’t be the person I am today if it wasn’t part of my path. Suffering reaches to the very core of our being, stripping away everything that doesn’t matter. It teaches us to understand pain and suffering in others, making us kinder and more empathetic people. After all we are all fragile human beings who are more similar than we realize.
Resourcefulness and Resilience: Like a teabag, you don’t know how strong you can be until you are in hot water….it is so true. Through pain, frustration, worry, procedures, tests, scans, changing meds, and more, you find a reserve of strength that you did not even know you had. You also find new ways to do things and new things to enjoy as your illness progresses. You will discover your limits and learn to work within them in unique ways – so you can still enjoy life and all it’s many blessings.
Value Self Care: I am learning to slow way down and listen to my body. Resting when I need to. I am trying to pay attention and not feel embarrassed or guilty if I need a break or even a nap. Learning to have patience with yourself and to advocate for yourself is so vital to your physical and mental well-being. Take care of yourself the way you would take care of someone you love. Living with pain and chronic illness is teaching me how to give myself and others more of a break.
Humility: Being sick and in pain can be horribly humbling. You, of course, want to keep your independence. You want to thrive not just survive. However, there are times that you will feel raw, exposed and helpless. Asking for help when you are fiercely independent is hard. Perhaps using a mobility device or wearing/using other medical equipment feels embarrassing, or you feel like people are looking at or talking about you. Exposing your vulnerability doesn’t make you any less of a person. In fact, not admitting your limits only exhibits stubbornness, not will power. Discovering your weaknesses is a humbling learning experience.
Courage: Courage in the face of an ongoing and painful condition is sometimes hard. Getting scary news, taking medical tests, traveling to new cities to meet with specialists are all frightening in different ways. However, I feel like sometimes advocating for yourself is the hardest thing to learn. Things like being brave enough to ask for help, question the doctor (or even fire a doctor!), and speaking up when you feel like you have no voice. You really do need to dig deep to find the courage and inner strength and speak up or speak out.
Letting Go: This is a tough one….letting go of what you thought your life was going to look like. Letting go of guilt, self doubt, embarrassment, and even shame. Accepting that you are vulnerable and hurt, but that you will learn how to live this new life.
Gratitude: I have found oddly enough that living with chronic pain/illness has taught me how to be appreciative of the smallest things in life, which sometimes are the most precious.
Suffering can make you bitter or it can make you better. Why not choose better? Pain leaves you better and stronger than it found you. Pain gives us a greater capacity for love, compassion and empathy. Be gentle, be reasonably positive, let yourself have a good cry when you need it, then brush yourself off and step forward (or take a nap if needed) Give yourself a break, give others a break as well. Give yourself credit for getting through another day.
